How to get a boyfriend? So you want a bf – no shame in the game girl.
Sometimes when its your dream guy it’s not always that easy to snag him, he is a catch for a reason.
If you want to stand out from the crowd and get the man you want – here are 30 of our best tips as to how to get a boyfriend (and the one you want!)
***Always remember of course you don’t need a boyfriend and you are a badass chick (or dude) just as you are***
If you realise this and just want a boyfriend… keep reading for the secret formula!
How To Get A Boyfriend: 31 Tips To Get the Man You Want
1. Be yourself.
Guys love a woman who is authentic and is true to herself. Being yourself shows confidence, and you have a different vibe about yourself than the women pretending to be something they are not. The guy you are after will notice that there is something different about you, which will intrigue him.
Genuine women are mysterious to men because they are used to women who are fake and alter their personalities to be who they think a man wants. Being fake shows significant insecurity and lack of confidence. This is a huge turn-off for men. If you’re going to get the man you want, be yourself.
2. Don’t act desperate.
Desperation comes in many forms, and if you want to get a boyfriend, you need to avoid acting desperate at all costs. Things like texting too often or talking too much are one way you could come across as desperate. Be patient and wait for him to text you or text you back.
You should also always sense the conversation for signs that you are overly chatty. Another thing to keep in mind is to avoid offering too much information.
You don’t need to tell him every detail of your life initially. Another way you may come off as desperate is putting down other women to make yourself look better. This is a definite turn-off and will not get you the man you want.
3. Be Mysterious
If you want to get a boyfriend, whether you have your eyes set on someone or not, make sure you are mysterious.
Ways to be mysterious include having confidence, not over-sharing information, being independent, and being emotionally stable. Emotionally stable and independent women are essential for a man because it tells him he won’t have to hold her hand every step of the relationship.
He will know you can take care of yourself, and you won’t fall apart over minor inconveniences. Another way to be mysterious is not always to be available. Even if you don’t have actual plans, you can consider spending time with yourself “plans” and use that time for self-care.
4. Have hobbies
Wondering how to get a boyfriend? Have hobbies.
If you don’t already have one, find a hobby. It doesn’t have to be something crazy or thrilling; find something that is yours. Reading is a great hobby, and so is yoga.
You could start a gym fitness routine or go on nature walks if you are outdoorsy. Having something you like to do shows that you will still invest in yourself and make time for yourself, even in a relationship.
This signals to a guy that you will not be over clingy and that he will be able to enjoy the things he likes to do as well, which is a big deal to a guy.
5. Be driven
One of the best tips to get the man you want is to have goals and a drive to achieve those goals. Lack of ambition and laziness are serious turn-offs for men.
Men don’t want someone who doesn’t have dreams of their own because it means you may prevent them from accomplishing their goals. Having ambition also tells a guy that you will go to great lengths to achieve the things you set out to accomplish, which is super hot.
Guys see girls with ambition as more likely to be stable and prosperous and won’t rely on them for everything.
6. Be Kind.
Kindness is something you should not overlook if you want to get a boyfriend. Yes, some men may dig a bad girl attitude. Still, they know these girls are not a serious relationship or marriage material. A little bit of kindness goes a long way.
So treat the restaurant staff with kindness on your date, even if they mess up your food and smile at other women, even if you feel like they are more attractive than you are. Have a positive outlook on life and avoid negativity or a pessimistic attitude.
7. Have a sweet soul.
Showing kindness is only one step, but he will eventually catch on if it is fake, and you may lose him. Even If you don’t already have a man in mind, having a sweet soul will attract men to you. To have a genuinely sweet soul, you must first look within yourself and be aware of any characteristics or feelings that may hinder you from being sweet.
Practicing mindfulness and trading out feelings of hate or anger with feelings of happiness and joy can help you reprogram yourself to have an overall kind soul.
So if you are an angry, cynical, emotional hot mess, take some time to work on yourself before trying to get a boyfriend. Remember, you have to love yourself before you love someone else how they deserve to be loved.
8. Care about others.
Being selfish is a huge turn-off, a sign of emotional unhealthiness. Caring about others is essential to our well-being and how we interact with the world. Suppose you lack empathy and are always focused on your self-interests.
You probably won’t get the man you want unless he is also a selfish, emotionally unhealthy person, which perhaps isn’t a great mix.
Learning to understand the feelings and emotions of others and indeed be able to put yourself in their shoes goes a long way. Guys want a girl who treats others with kindness and respect and can put themselves in someone else’s shoes.
9. Contribute to your community.
Okay, don’t volunteer at a soup kitchen to impress a guy and then drop it when he finds interest in you. I mean, genuinely start taking an interest in your community and be passionate about helping in any way you can. If it is not genuine, don’t do it at all.
A guy will tell if you are just contributing to get attention, and the fakeness will turn him off fast. Guys like girls who contribute to the community because of the reasons listed in tip #7. It tells him you care about things more significant than yourself. The passion for helping others is beautiful.
10. Challenge yourself.
Keep challenging yourself to be better. Not only do guys find girls who challenge themselves attractive, but you will reap benefits from this as well. Start going to the gym like you said you would a million times but haven’t made an effort.
Challenge yourself to try new things like music or foods you would never dare try before. Set a routine and stick to it.
Anything you can think of that means something to you and would challenge you to be the person you want is a great start. Guys don’t like girls who settle for average and are not motivated to grow.
This one may be obvious, but it is worth being on the list. Flirting shows confidence and makes you desirable, which automatically attracts him to you.
Just make sure you don’t go overboard; otherwise, you will seem desperate and achieve the opposite effect than you intended.
Great ways to flirt are giving him a cute nickname, teasing him playfully, touching him gently on the arm or shoulder, and complimenting him. If you are not in person, you can flirt with emojis like a winky face or talk through memes, which is one of my favorites.
12. Be playful
Guys love a playful and lighthearted girl—being playful means you know how to have fun and have a zest for life. Smile frequently and laugh often.
Especially laugh at his jokes. Don’t fake laugh or try to force it; this can be very obvious. Don’t be afraid to sing and dance when it’s appropriate.
Let your hair down and play in the rain. Find the good in bad situations and have an overall positive outlook on life. Don’t overthink everything; relax and have a good time. This is a beautiful quality for men.
13. Compliment Him
Give him compliments often, but only when you mean it. Don’t tell him that green sweater looks fantastic on him if you think it is the most hideous shirt you have ever seen. Dishonesty shows terrible character, and guys can tell when you are being fake.
If you love his laugh, tell him. Let him know if you think he sounds like Ed Shereen when he sings. Also, think about some inward characteristics of his that you love. Do you adore the way he plays with his niece or nephew?
Or does it tug on your heartstrings when he helps an elderly lady carry groceries to her car? Let him in on how much you love these things about him.
14. Talk about his interests.
I know you probably think you are just the most incredible, most interesting woman. You can’t wait to tell him how awesome you are and why you would be perfect for him, but slow your roll. Suppose you don’t take the time to get to know him and his interests.
In that case, he will see you as self-absorbed, and it won’t matter that you can play the guitar, run a 10k with ease, and donate money every year to help starving children in the world. It is essential to stay mysterious, as we mentioned earlier, and care more about learning about what makes him who he is. He will love being able to talk about himself, and if he is worth having, he will ask you questions about your interests.
15. Be opinionated.
This one may surprise you because you probably think the opposite is true, but hear me out. By opinionated, I mean to have opinions, but don’t be so passionate about every idea that you want to make sure everyone, including your neighbor’s dog, knows it. Learn how to voice your opinion in a classy, respectful way.
He doesn’t want someone overly opinionated, but he doesn’t want a pushover. Learn how to know when and how to voice your opinions with respect, which will fascinate him.
16. Hug him
Hugs hold a lot more power than we give them credit for. A hug performed correctly can make almost any guy fall for you if you are his type. You are looking for a soft hug and not a forceful one because a forceful one may present itself as you coming on way too strong.
You want to put the hand opposite your dominant hand on the small of his lower back and your dominant hand lightly on his neck and pull in gently. Bury your head in his chest if he seems into the hug; this may seal the deal. A hug like this is enough to let him know you want to be more than friends, but not too much where you seem to be trying too hard.
17. Find ways to touch him.
Like the hug, do not underestimate the power of a light touch. We mentioned this in the “flirt with him” section, but it deserves its own space. Put your hand on his shoulder casually while you tease him or tell him a joke, or “accidentally” graze his hand with yours if you are both reaching for something.
However, remember that these are simply ideas, and you should use your own best judgment. You will know when the right moment is to find a way to touch him lightly. Just make sure not to be awkward about it or do it too much. There is nothing wrong with practicing a little on your own or volunteering your best girlfriend to help you out.
18. Make friends with his friends.
If you want him to view you as girlfriend material, his friends need to think you are cool. This only works if you are all in the same social circle or are you already know who they are.
It wouldn’t be cool of you to go out of your way to start a chat on social media with all of his guy friends at random because then his guyfriends could think you are into THEM.
If they find out you are talking to all of them, that could send the wrong message, and you don’t want to do that. However, if you all work together or go to school together, then strike up very casual conversations with just a few of the people he hangs on with regularly.
More: How to get a BF
19. Be confident.
Confidence is key to getting the man you want. If you are not already exuding confidence, now is the time to start.
You can make small changes in your life to cultivate strength and happiness by just beginning to love and appreciate who you are. If you don’t like yourself, it will be hard for a man to like you. Don’t change for a man, though.
The key to confidence is knowing who YOU are, not being who you think someone wants you to be. Start being mindful of your actions and be honest with yourself. Make sure you take time for yourself and practice self-care.
20. Follow upon his life.
Did he land a new job? Ask him how it is going. Is he getting a promotion? Tell him you are proud of him. Take the time to genuinely show interest in the things going on in his life, and let him know you remember. Did he pick up rock climbing a few months ago?
Ask him how it is going and if he is enjoying it. Asking him about his hobbies is a fantastic way to get into his life.
If you show interest, he may ask you to join him next time, giving the two of you time to bond and get to know each other. Make sure you are honest if you are not into it for yourself, though, because you do not want him to get excited and think he found a girl to go rock climbing with only to find out later you hate it.
21. Dress up.
Yes, even if it isn’t your thing. Guys love women who take care of themselves and dress up every now and then.
You don’t have to wear a dress and heels every time you leave the house, but try to implement this when you know you will be around the man you want.
Even if you have to wear a uniform at work, make a “pop-in” one day when you know he is working and be dressed to the nines. If you have a red dress in your closet, now is the time to wear it.
22. Compliment his personality.
I know we mentioned this earlier when we mentioned “compliment him,” but just like earlier, this one needs its section on this list of 30 tips to get the man you want.
It is one thing to compliment a man’s outward characteristics. Still, it is entirely different to compliment what makes him who he is.
Do you swoon when you hear his laugh? Tell him how much you love to listen to it. Noticing little quirks that you find adorable is also a smart move. When you compliment a man’s personality, you’re telling him you like who he is, not just the idea of being with him.
23. Make eye contact.
Eye contact could be more potent than a slight touch, and when you combine them both, you may need to be ready for a ring on that finger.
OK, maybe not that extreme, but your chances went up a lot! Start by casually looking at him and wait for the moment your eyes meet his. Don’t be creepy by staring too long; look in their direction, then look away every so often until your eyes meet.
At this moment, hold eye contact for a few seconds and try to make your eyes say, “I like you.” Try not to keep them for too long but don’t look away immediately either. Another great trick is to smile coyly when your eyes make contact.
24. Be down to earth.
I know, I know! Your head may be in the clouds thinking about how dreamy the man you want is, but don’t forget to come back to earth.
Being well-rounded and centered as an individual is a trait most men find mysterious and attractive. You can learn to be down to earth by letting go and understanding not everything will be perfect. Always stay positive and don’t be too affected by the words of others.
Being down to earth means being confident in your skin and knowing how to roll with the punches. He will notice how chill you are and will find it refreshing.
25. Have a life plan.
How do I get a boyfriend you might ask – have a life plan.
Preferably something other than being a trophy wife or a stay-at-home mom with three kids. Yes, that may be your desire, but it shouldn’t be your only desire. Women who have plans for their lives other than men are instantly more attractive than other women.
The reason for this is men love independent women. Sure, they love when you depend on them a little, like picking up something heavy. However, they don’t want to be the sole reason for your happiness. That is too much pressure for anyone.
26. Actively pursue your goals.
Having a plan for your life is excellent, but it won’t mean much if you are not striving to achieve your goals. Men are attracted to women who are go-getters, so working hard for something you are passionate about is a sure way to get his attention.
When you work hard for what you want, it will show your crush that you are a serious person, which means serious relationship material. If you want to know how to get a boyfriend, pursue your goals, and the man you want will come running.
27. Be funny.
Guys like funny girls. Yes, it is true! Contrary to what you have heard, men love it when a girl can make them laugh. It is unexpected, which is highly intriguing to guys.
A lot of women have a sense of humor and laugh at their jokes, and while this is important to make a guy feel attracted to you, take it a step further and make him laugh at your jokes.
You will stand out from the slew of other girls who only laughed at his jokes. If you don’t think you are funny or have a hard time making jokes, take an improv class. This will help you think on your feet and find humor in unexpected things, which will keep him guessing.
28. Be the best version of yourself.
Think about the you that you would want to be with and be that person.
This is tricky for some and comes more accessible for others. Having your life together is essential if you want a relationship. Try to visualize the person you see yourself as the best version of yourself; this is a great place to start. Next, you can make small changes in your life habits.
If you want to live a healthier lifestyle, start making healthier choices. Start working on yourself now, not after you are in a relationship. He will notice you working to make changes in your life, and it will be inspiring.
29. Encourage him to chase his dreams.
If the man you want has dreams and aspirations, encourage him to chase his dreams. He needs to know that he has a friend and a confidant in you and that you will not hold him back from his life goals.
Some women tend to discourage a man’s dreams when it doesn’t fit their overall plan and even go to lengths to manipulate them into changing their life plans to match theirs.
This is not a great trait, and while it may work initially, their men will eventually resent them for keeping them from what they truly wanted out of life. This is important on this list of 30 tips to get the man you want. If he knows you genuinely have his best interest at heart, he will put you in his.
30. Don’t be easy
Being easy to get says you are desperate or have no other options. It could also send the message that your whole life is devoted to finding a boyfriend, which is a tremendous turn-off for men.
To get the man you want, you need to subtly let him know you are interested while maintaining a slight distance. You need to live your life still, hang out with your friends, and spend time on the hobbies we mentioned earlier in the list.
You maintain the mystery and the man you want will find you attractive. When he shows interest back, don’t drop everything for him either. Let him chase you a little. But don’t make yourself unavailable all of the time, or he will think you are either playing games or you lost interest.
31. The less interested you are – the more interested they are
Finally – the less interested you are – the more interested they are.
The keen bean gives men the ick factor – trust me, I’ve seen it too many times. Don’t be that girl and you’ll get the guy of your dreams.
Do you have anymore steller tips on how to get a boyfriend to help our readers out – leave us a comment below.