Looking for Signs He is Fighting His Feelings For You?
Have you just started dating a guy and you’re unsure how he feels about you? Or maybe you have a guy friend that you like more than friends, but you don’t know if he feels the same way?
Men can sometimes be hard to figure out, especially if they are doing one thing and saying another! A lot of times men will secretly have feelings for a woman, but they will fight those feelings and try not to show them.
What to do when he is fighting his feelings for you? Here are 30 signs and how to deal:
31 Signs He is Fighting His Feelings For You
1. He acts awkward around you
If he usually acts normal around you, but all the sudden he has started acting weird and awkward, it is probably because he likes you and may not know how to show it.
If he seems shy and generally nervous around other women as well, that may just be his nature. But if he seems fine around others but particularly nervous when he is around you, then he may be fighting feelings for you.
One of the biggest signs he is fighting his feelings for you.
2. He shows off whenever you are around
Another sign that he may be fighting feelings for you is if instead of acting nervous and awkward around you, he shows off. He always tries to get your attention and impress you, especially when he’s being funny or trying to do something impressive.
Does he brag about things he has done recently or things he can do? When you’re with your friend group and he tells a joke, does he look to see if you are laughing? Or maybe he arm-wrestles with another guy or tries to lift heavy stuff to show off his strength. Any of these are tell tale signs that he may be showing off for you because he likes you.
3. He does little things to show you he cares
Romantic gestures, no matter how small, are a sign that he has feelings for you. Maybe he has sent you flowers when you were going through a difficult time. Or maybe he surprised you with your favorite coffee or tickets to see your favorite group.
Or perhaps he always hugs you when he sees you, and you’ve noticed he does not hug just anyone. Maybe after a night out with friends, he texts you to make sure you made it home safely or asks you to text him when you get home. All of these are just examples of small ways that he might show you that he cares, and he’s also fighting feelings for you.
4. He finds excuses to talk to you
While he may sometimes act awkward towards you or even ignore you at times, there may be other times when he goes out of his way to talk to you. He may single you out when you are with a group of friends and speak directly to you. Or he may drop by your workplace for no other reason than just to say hey.
He may ask you questions about things he already knows the answer to, or really has no interest in, just to find a reason to talk to you.
5. He is on your social media a lot
Does he constantly like your Instagram posts or comment on your Facebook posts or pictures? Especially if he has suddenly started doing this when he has not done so in the past. Or maybe he is not so much visibly active on your social media but makes references to stuff you have posted online when the two of you are talking by text or in person.
Now, there is being attentive, and then there is red-flag behavior. If he is liking and commenting on literally everything you post, and he knows your every move, you may need to feel more worried instead of flattered.
6. He asks you hypothetical questions
Have you noticed that he often asks you hypothetical random questions? Things like your favorite meal, or place to go, this or that type questions, or what you would in certain situation questions? He is not being weird; he is just trying to get to know you better.
He also may be trying to find out how you will react to certain things or situations because he is planning to ask you out. A lot of guys won’t ask a girl out because they are afraid of being rejected. He may be asking you all these questions to get an idea of whether he stands a chance with you.
7. He gets jealous
A telltale sign that a guy is fighting feelings for you is that he gets jealous. He may seem irritated if he sees you with another guy and thinks that there may be something between the two of you. Or, when you are hanging out with a group of friends, he may try to block any interaction between you and other single guys.
And as he gets more jealous, his actions will show it. He may be more affectionate or attentive toward you or show off more. You may notice his demeanor is different when you are around other guys, as opposed to when it is just you and him. And he will be dismissive if you mention any other guys when you’re talking to him.
8. He tries to make you jealous
Just as he will be jealous of you and other guys, he will test you to see if you reciprocate his feelings by trying to make you jealous. This will more than likely happen after he has shown signs of being jealous.
He may be nicer or extra flirty to other girls, especially when you are around. Or he may try to talk about other girls who are interested in him or brag about girls who are attracted to him when he talks to you. Don’t worry, he is probably just doing these things to see how you will react because he is fighting feelings for you.
9. His behavior is inconsistent
Another way to tell that he is probably fighting feelings for you is if his behavior is inconsistent. He may be flirtatious and showing off one minute, then acting all awkward and shy the next. Or he may be attentive and then suddenly ignore you. His behavior may be odd, but he is most likely fighting his feelings for you and so he just is not sure how to act. He is probably trying to hide his feelings, so pay attention to the inconsistency.
10. He is self-conscious about his behavior and looks
Why is he holding back his feelings? Maybe he’s self conscious!
Not only will he try to show off in front of you, but he will always try to look his best when he knows you are going to see him. He will be wearing his best clothing (maybe even an article of clothing that you’ve complimented before or he knows may be your favorite. He will be clean shaven, and possibly even wearing cologne. He will go out of his way to make sure he looks his best- for you.
Furthermore, he will also be on his best behavior. He will be the perfect gentleman whenever you are around, to you and everyone present. He will be especially helpful, and most of all he will be trying to impress you every chance he gets.
11. He wants you to know you can count on him
If he has feelings for you, he will want to gain your trust and want to show you that is trustworthy. Whether you need help moving furniture, changing a flat tire, advice, or just a shoulder to lean on when you have had a bad day or you are feeling sad, he will make sure to let you know that he is dependable and you can count on him.
If he has feelings for you, he will want to gain your trust and want to show you that is trustworthy.
12. You hang out a lot without going on dates
Have you gone from hanging out with a group of friends to hanging out just the two of you? Maybe he’ll meet you for lunch or ask you to go see a movie with him. Or when you do still hang out in groups, he wants to be sure that you get the invite and you will be there.
A lot of these non-dates that feel like dates will probably leave you feeling confused. But don’t worry too much because this just means he is confused about his feelings. He wants to spend time with you, but he isn’t quite ready yet to officially ask you out.
13. He gets distant if you talk about your feelings
Is he fighting his feelings for me? One way to tell is if he gets distant.
His actions clearly show that he has feelings for you, but you haven’t gotten him to say that he has feelings for you. So, you decide to be the one to make the first move and tell HIM how YOU feel.
However, when you do this, he quickly changes the subject. Or he may distance himself for a couple of days afterwards while he is working out his own feelings. If he does this, don’t be too worried. It’s likely that he’s acting this way because he is fighting how he feels about you.
14. He asks your opinion a lot
He tries to impress you by showing off, and he always tries to look and act his best when you are around, so it’s obvious that he cares what you think about him.
If he is fighting feelings for you, he might also ask your opinion on things or ask you for advice often. It may be something small like what you think about a movie, or the t-shirt he just bought. Or he may ask for some music suggestions. However, he may get more personal and ask for advice with a difficult situation.
15. He can’t say no to you
Looking for signs a married man is fighting his feelings for you? He just can’t say no!
No matter how many favors you ask him to do, or even what you ask him to do, he just can’t seem to tell you no.
He wants to prove he is dependable, and at the same time, he can’t help the way he feels about you and just wants to spend time with you any way he can. Therefore, he has a hard time saying no time you ask for his help.
16. You catch him staring at you sometimes
He may appear uninterested, try to play it cool, or even ignore you at times. However, you notice that he can’t keep his eyes off you when he thinks you aren’t paying attention.
Whether you are the center of attention amongst your friends, or having a side conversation, he notices and can’t help but admire you.
17. He wants to know everything about you
He just can’t get enough- information about you that is. It may seem as if he’s not interested or paying attention when you are talking to others. Later, he might mention something that you said, showing that he really was paying attention while he was acting like he wasn’t.
He might start asking your friends personal details about you. Or he may take the braver approach and ask you a bunch of questions himself, like your favorite food or place to go or what kind of movies you like to watch. He wants to know everything about you because he wants to know YOU.
18. The two of you have great chemistry
Sometimes people are just drawn to each other like magnets. That is because of their chemistry. If you feel an instant connection even though you haven’t known him very long, or if you just found yourself drawn to him, it’s probably your chemistry. And if you feel it, there’s a strong chance he does too.
When two people have a strong chemical attraction, it will be undeniable and hard to ignore, no matter if his words or actions tell you otherwise.
One of the key signs he is fighting his feelings for you.
19. He doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea about him when it comes to certain things
If he is fighting feelings for you, then not only will he want to impress you, but he will also not want to disappoint you. He will always have an explanation for things that may be embarrassing or make him look bad.
If he is late, or fails an exam, or is acting out of character for any reason, he will let you know the explanation especially if it is reasonable. He doesn’t want you to think bad about him.
And if he is single, and you have seen him hanging out or flirting with other women, he will make sure he lets you know that there is nothing going on with them and he is available.
20. He finds fault with other guys in your life
If the two of you are close friends, or talk to each other a lot, he will not only be dismissive or annoyed when you mention other guys, but he will find something wrong with any guy you seem to be more than friendly with as well.
21. He listens when you talk
Most guys are good listeners, but honestly, a guy is not going to hang on to every word that you say, or remember the tiniest details, unless they are really interested in you!
He will ask you a bunch of questions because he wants to know more. Or he may surprise you by remembering something you mentioned a long time ago. He may remember your coffee order at the coffee shop or play a song by your favorite band.
And if you act surprised or impressed that he remembered these things, he will probably just brush it off as not a big deal, but it is.
22. He acts protective over you
Guys are protective, sometimes even overprotective, of the girls that they like. If he knows that you need help, he will be the first to lend you a hand. If someone says something negative about you, or mistreats you, he will quickly defend you. If the two of you are not dating, but he is super protective of you, then he is probably fighting feelings for you.
23. He gets nervous around you
He may act all big and show off, especially when others are around, but you may notice that when it is just the two of you, he gets nervous.
He may stutter or stammer when he talks, or just appear anxious and jittery. This is because he wants everything to be perfect and he wants to impress you. He wants you to think he is funny, and cool, and just an all-around great guy so he may feel the pressure especially when he is alone with you.
24. His friends tease him or drop hints
Have some of his friends recently started linking the two of you together or saying things that suggest that he talks about you (in a good way!) when you’re not around? Or maybe some of them tease him when you’re around.
If he really likes you, then chances are he has told his closest friends. So, if they hint like he talks about you, or they give him grief when you’re around, take note.
25. He avoids you……sometimes
He may not do it intentionally, but especially if the two of you have gotten really close recently, or you are starting to think that something might be there, then he might ignore or avoid you.
If he does, don’t get too upset about it, especially if you know that you haven’t done anything that would make him act like that. If a guy is fighting his feelings and he thinks he is being too obvious, then he will start to distance himself. A lot of times this is a defense mechanism, especially if he’s had a bad breakup in the past.
26. His body language will give him away
If he is normally confident, and easily flirts with other girls but turns into a fidgety, fumbling mess whenever you’re around, then he may be fighting his feelings for you.
Or you may notice when you’re hanging out, especially in a group, he tends to stick close to you. He may do this without even realizing it himself! It will be because he feels drawn to you, and he may also want to stick close to keep other guys from trying to flirt with you as well.
27. He shares personal details about himself
If he is fighting feelings for you, then it is probably because he is afraid of rejection or he may have had his heart broken before. Therefore, he will want to keep his private life private. But if he is starting to feel closer to you, he will start opening up and telling you personal things.
28. He texts you for random reasons
He may text you just to say hello, or he may text you that he was going to tell you something, but he “forgot” what it was. Or he might ask you the date of an upcoming activity, although you are pretty sure he knows when it is.
He wants to talk to you, but he may not be sure exactly what to say. And if he’s fighting feelings, he may be afraid that you don’t feel the same way. So, if you don’t initiate the conversation, he will look for random reasons to text you. This is good because it means you stay on his mind!
29. He always takes your side
He will always support you, and he will stand up for you. Even if it’s an argument and you’re wrong, he will likely side with you or compromise to prove his loyalty to you.
If someone in your friend group suggests a new movie or restaurant for you all to try, he may hang back on agreeing until you have voiced your opinion.
30. He is always there for you when you need him
Men have an instinct to look out for damsels in distress, and especially when they have feelings for someone. He will be there whenever you need him, for whatever you need. If you are upset, he will try to cheer you up.
If you have any kind of problem that you need help with, he will either do it himself or find someone to help you. You may even notice that he starts helping you with stuff before you even ask for help.
A big sign he is fighting his feelings for you and wants you to be his gf soon.
31. He gets angry at you, for no good reason
If a guy gets angry at you, does he have feelings for you? It could mean he does! Sometimes people hide their true emotions with other emotions.
If you think this is the case, and you also like him too, try not to get angry back straight away as this could risk pushing him away forever!