They say when you meet the right man you know it. Is that true?
Well maybe. But again maybe not. I’m sure you get certain feelings when you really like someone but is this love or is this lust – sometimes it is hard to tell. Meeting the right person is hard and you want to know it’s for real for real before taking any big steps in your relationship like marriage.
That’s why we have made a list of 30 signs you’ve met the right guy so you can use more than just your intuition to tell it’s real and it’s love.
When you meet the right man: 30 Signs you’ve met the right guy
He listens when you speak.
It may sound elementary, but these days, we can’t take it for granted that someone is actually listening to us. There are so many distractions in the world, including, but not limited to, the cell phone in their hand.
If he is the right man, he will pay mind to you, not the shiny rectangle, begging his attention. It shouldn’t be difficult to determine if he is listening; most people will maintain eye contact for roughly eighty percent of the time they’re listening, so that’s a good gauge. In reality, you can just feel it, so go with your gut.
He puts you first, most of the time.
Not, obsessively, but over, say, going to a bar with his friends. We all choose what we put our focus on. When we’re single, it might be our career, or immediate family. When we become part of a couple, our priorities shift.
If he is the right man, he will begin to shift his priority to you, thus, being a sign that he is serious about you. If the fit is right, you both will likely be making this shift around the same time. If he is your priority, but you are not his, you can have a discussion, or just wait a bit to see what happens.
You feel free to be “yourself” when you’re with him.
In our society today, we feel pressure to look better, be more successful, be funnier, and have more in the bank, but when you are with the right man, you don’t feel the need to be anything more than who you are.
He appreciates you, just as you are, so you can laugh freely, make comments about life, and feel confident that he will not judge you. This really comes down to being a friend with the man in your life. The foundation of friendship allows you to be yourself around him.
You both communicate openly with each other, and have no secrets.
That’s a bit of a misnomer; everyone keeps a secret or two. But in your relationship, there should be no secrets. You should be able to ask where he has been, or where he’s going, and he has no qualms about telling you.
You should be able to discuss money; how you both spend it, earn it, feel about it. You should be able to talk about your family, and his, the past, and the future. If you feel confident in speaking openly with him, and he speaks openly with you, then he’s a keeper.
You are genuinely grateful that he is in your life.
If you’ve ever had the wrong man in your life, then you know how it feels. You keep second guessing your words and actions, and almost dread seeing him, because you know you’ll disappoint him, or the relationship, somehow.
But when you are with the right guy, you feel genuinely glad that you chose him, and that he chose you. Like any good friend or family member, he adds something good to your life. You remember his actions with positivity, and look forward to being in his company.
You can trust him with your feelings.
The right man will never minimize your feelings. He will always acknowledge how you feel, and make the effort to understand. You should be able to share any type of feeling you have with him, from sadness, to anger, to joy.
And when you disclose those delicate feelings to him, showing that you trust him, he will embrace them with you. When you feel comfortable sharing your inner most thoughts with him, you can feel confident that he is trustworthy, and that is a necessary attribute for a successful relationship.
He does little (or big) things for you, without you even having to ask.
For example, if he knows you hate taking out the trash, and does it for you, he’s a worthy man.
Those little things can add up dramatically over time, making your life better. If you find that he’s doing things for you, which you value, that is his way of showing you his commitment. The next time he opens the door for you, give him a kiss on the cheek, and feel assured that it’s just him, trying to make you smile.
You “click”, when you’re together.
Let’s face it, there are some people with whom you just connect immediately, while others, you repel, like opposing magnets. It’s likely that you click with him because you share similar values, interests, and senses of humor.
They feel “familiar”, which is from the Latin root, “familia”, or, family. It makes sense that you want to be around him, because people are drawn to others like themselves. There is some scientific data about the reasons why this happens, but long story short, it works, so go with the flow.
He makes you laugh, joyfully.
There are few things better than sharing a genuine laugh with someone. If you have found someone who makes you laugh, there is a good chance that he is the right man. Laughter is part of the foundation, upon which a solid relationship, is built.
It signifies that you both share your view of the world, and the mechanisms of life and relationships, in the same way. If you can laugh together, you can weather the storms that may (okay, will) come in the long run.
He is protective of you, both physically and emotionally.
When you find the right person, he is protective of you.
To clarify, jealousy and possessiveness are overreaching, and sometimes dangerous, versions of “protective”. The average man will take certain steps to ensure that his woman is safe, such as walking her to her door, standing up for her if someone verbally or physically attacks, and encouraging her to go for her dreams.
Their internal drive is to do these protective things for those with whom he is closest. It’s a reciprocal relationship between his feeling needed, and his need to protect. If he’s protecting you, then he feels close, and needed by you.
He is the first person you want to talk to when something good, or bad, happens.
When the chips are down, a great way to tell if you and your guy are a match is if you want to include him in all things.
If you lose your job, or win a promotion, and he is the first person who comes to mind, you are bound to be with a person who is important enough to consider sharing your life with. It goes without saying that he should want to hear the good, and bad, if he’s the right man.
You want to spend time together.
This one may seem obvious, but if you’ve ever looked around a restaurant, and seen couples who are avoiding conversation by any means possible, then you know what’s what.
Sure, being together for a long time may allay the need for constant conversation, but you should still want to share quality time. And that is time spent actually concentrating on each other, building a connection, and (hopefully) having a good time in the presence of each other.
Things tend to cool down the longer you’re with someone, but you should always value their time.
You share your relationship joys with family and friends
Dating the right man generally means that you have no qualms about sharing details about him, with others in your life. If you are not sharing with others, it may mean that something is off.
Aside from the obvious markers, such as, he’s not single, or he had a substance abuse problem, it might be that your value systems don’t align. However, most are happy to (over) share about our relationship with anyone who will sit still long enough to listen. And that’s likely how it should be, if he’s the right guy.
He cares about your opinion on things that matter to him.
Whether it’s work, school, or sports, if he is, not only sharing parts of his daily life with you, but getting your input on challenges he may be facing, then he trusts you.
That’s his way of saying that you are important enough to him to take the time. It’s also a subtle way that he keeps you in his future plans. If he’s thinking of taking a job in another city, and asks you what you think about the opportunity, he may be hinting at a future together. Thumbs up!
The relationship fees like an easy, balancing act.
When you’re with the right guy, things just seem to lend themselves to working out. You can agree, and disagree on things, but still come out okay.
Life can be full of obstacles, and when you’re with the wrong person, a variety of things get in the way of being together, sometimes because we (subconsciously) allow it. Each of you giving relatively the same amount of energy to the relationship, even if that means taking turns, can be the glue which holds you together.
He has begun making plans for the future (near and far) and you like the sound of that.
The right man will consider you a part of his life, and with that, comes planning things to do with you. If the man you are dating isn’t making future plans, he may not see you two together, or think that you’re serious.
Future plans could be anything from a vacation next year, to, going with you to a work party. They don’t have to be marriage plans, but if he’s willing to commit to future dates, there is a good probability that his mind is heading that way.
He understands your body language.
Being in tune with your partner means being able to see things that others may not. If you’re in a social situation, and you’re not feeling comfortable for any reason, he should be able to tell by looking at you, and be comfortable enough to ask you directly about it.
This is a high sign that he cares about you, and a great indicator that he is a person in whom you can put your trust.
He remembers the details, when it counts.
Some details may be life or death, such as, your salad comes with nuts, and you’re allergic, so he makes sure the waiter kept them off of your plate.
Other details may be more subtle, like, he remembered one of your light-bulbs was out, so he brought one when he came over, and changed it for you. Such actions confirm that he is taking more than a passing interest, and that he intends to pursue you for longer.
You may notice that you’re doing similar things for him, which is also a good sign.
He only has eyes for you.
When you finally meet the right person, he only has eyes for you.
Let’s face it, people are human beings, and we are going to be attracted to many people over our lifetime, but how he treats you, is a big signal for his respect. If you’re out at a club or restaurant, and there is an attractive woman near by, he might notice her, but he still focuses on you.
He eyes do not continue to roam, but take in your presence as the most important person in the room. He might even move his chair, in order to be closer to you, or to get the other person out of his sight-line, so he doesn’t have to think about it.
We can’t stop nature, but he can make the choice to place that focus on you, and that makes him one of the good guys.
He gives you the space you need, outside of the relationship.
Wanting to be with your special person frequently, is something we generally do, especially in the beginning. But both parties need some time outside of being with their significant other.
And, they should not be made to feel guilty about it. When you want to spend time with family or friends, or you want to take a class, or even have some private time to read, you should have no qualms about taking it, and neither should he. A healthy relationship can survive being separated.
You are proud to introduce him to others in your life.
No matter what your guys does for a living, what he drives, how he dresses, or where he lives, you chose to be with him, which makes him someone you should be proud of.
If you’re reluctant to introduce him to others, it may mean that you feel something is off. Is he overly sarcastic? Does he lack interest in the remarks of others? When you are proud to share him, you know the puzzle pieces are fitting together nicely.
You would care if he weren’t in your life.
Throughout our lifetime, we will have countless people enter and exit our lives. Most people don’t make any impact on us (coworkers, apartment neighbors), others will have some effect on us (mentors, coaches), and a few people will have a profound effect on us.
Without much effort, you probably have a handful of people you flash on when you consider those who have crossed your path. They may have helped to shaped the person you currently are, inspired you, or challenged you to do better. If the person you are with is one of those who make your life better, hold onto him!
You enjoy listening to him share.
Let’s face it, if the guy you’re with mostly talks about cars and golf, and you don’t care about either, it’s probably not the right match. But if you both enjoy conversing about volunteering at animal shelters, protecting the environment, math, or comedy, then you have something to connect to.
You don’t have to have everything in common, but you do have to relate on a least a few, major items in life, in order to forge ahead.
The prior point leads into this next one, that your conversations are easy, and flow naturally.
If you’re both constantly struggling to be heard, or worse, to be “right”, then this may not be the right match.
But if the two of you relate, and agree on many topics, and the back and forth feels easy and natural, then this is a good sign that your value systems are similar, and that you both respect each other enough to allow mutual conversation.
You begin to take on each other’s traits.
This isn’t to say that you begin to dress alike, and have the same haircut style. This means that, you might take on common vocabulary, and gestures.
You might be able to stabilize (or un-stabilize) their mood, so, best to stay positive! You take on each other’s behavior, like exercising more, or less. The secret tip here might be, if you want your guy to be more romantic, begin being more romantic to him, and he may pick up the behavior!
You feel good when you’re with him, and not worried about making an impression, or making him happy.
The right man should bring out the best in you, so you feel good around him. If he’s making negative comments about your body, your thoughts, or anything else, he may need to exit your life.
When you’re together, you should feel confident enough in your mutual feelings, that you don’t have to always “make an impression”, or “make him happy so he’ll stay”. Just being you, and sharing values, should be enough for him, and you.
He is willing to fight for you, or rather, the relationship with you.
A man who is open to dealing with difficult issues that come up in a relationship, is worth keeping. Every couple goes through tough times, and if you’re both willing to work towards resolution, you have a good chance of surviving those times.
He should fight fair, and not bring up past incidents. He should be able to acknowledge when he did something wrong. And he should be willing to forgive and forget, if necessary.
He is as equally affectionate as you are.
Everyone has a different comfort level with PDAs (hugs, hand holding, kissing, in public), as well as private displays of affection. If you align pretty evenly, you’re in a good spot.
You should both be comfortable with how much affection is in the relationship as a whole. If you’re not getting enough, then it may warrant a conversation. But if he loves to rub your back while in line, and you’re happy to receive that, it seems a good match on that level.
You are comfortable just being together, and don’t have to fill time with talk.
Once you find the person you click with, the urge to fill the companionship with “filler” has passed. The most comfortable relationships you have in life (family, friendships, lovers) have the ability to transcend the mundane.
It’s okay to sit together, while doing things separately. In fact, it feels really good to get to the point of knowing that you don’t have to impress him with your unique amazingness, because he already knows.